I've cried for the first time in awhile tonight. There's a part of me that just wants to surround myself in everything that is Cameron right now. I'm yearning to feel closer to him. I think that's the natural mommy thing to feel though. We want to be close to our children, and it's such a struggle inside our hearts to know that you can't be with one of them. You can't hold them, touch them, comfort them, kiss them, etc. And that's what kills.
The only two things I said through my tears were,
"I love and miss you so much Cameron."
"This just sucks."
Pretty much sums it up.