Tuesday, April 27, 2010

When he was here...

Do you ever find yourself looking at dates on pictures, papers, tickets, etc. and thinking to yourself, "My baby was still alive on that day."? I ran across a picture a few minutes ago and the date in the corner was 7-25-08. The first thing to go through my head was, "Cam was still with us. His little heart was still beating then".

My eyes watered. It's those little things - those little dates - that give your heart a little jolt.

I've been doing awesome lately though!! I only think fondly of Cameron now.

Does it still hurt? Of course.

But, I smile more than ever now! I talk to Allie about him and show her things. I know she doesn't understand yet, but she will one day. More than anything, it just sucks. It sucks that I can't have all 3 of them here. It sucks that Aiden and Allie never got to meet their brother. But, a the same time, I know it's OK. Because one day, I'll have all 3 of my babies in my arms and they'll get to meet their brother!