I think it's finally starting to hit me that Cameron's been gone this long. Before, it seemed as if we had just lost him weeks ago.
I look at his u/s picture, and now it really does feel like forever. I don't know if it's because Allie's here and she's growing so fast, or what, but I do know that something has changed.
Do I like it? Not really. While thinking of him only being gone for weeks was hard, the realization that he's been gone for over a year, kills.
This past Thanksgiving was the last of the "firsts" for us. This Christmas would have been Cameron's 2nd...but now it will be Allie's 1st.
I'm glad to be done with all of the "firsts", but having it go on to the seconds, is making this harder even yet. It just makes me think of everything Cam is missing and what he'll only continue to miss...