Do you ever find yourself looking at dates on pictures, papers, tickets, etc. and thinking to yourself, "My baby was still alive on that day."? I ran across a picture a few minutes ago and the date in the corner was 7-25-08. The first thing to go through my head was, "Cam was still with us. His little heart was still beating then".
My eyes watered. It's those little things - those little dates - that give your heart a little jolt.
I've been doing awesome lately though!! I only think fondly of Cameron now.
Does it still hurt? Of course.
But, I smile more than ever now! I talk to Allie about him and show her things. I know she doesn't understand yet, but she will one day. More than anything, it just sucks. It sucks that I can't have all 3 of them here. It sucks that Aiden and Allie never got to meet their brother. But, a the same time, I know it's OK. Because one day, I'll have all 3 of my babies in my arms and they'll get to meet their brother!
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I just saw somebody's old blog post the other day that was written on July 14, 2008 - the day we found out Ada had died. Yeah, that was a shock to the system.
I totally get what you're feeling. I wish Allie could know both of her brothers.
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