Monday, June 1, 2009

Yesterday was a little bittersweet for me. It was my baby shower and also Cam's 10 month mark. I randomly broke down while on my way to get some stuff done before the shower. And when I say random, I MEAN random!! I've broken down out of nowhere before, but they were slow gradual tears. This time I was full out bawling in .2 seconds - literally, out of nowhere, when I had just been rocking out to my favorite song, 2 seconds prior.

I'm not even sure what brought it on or why exactly it happened. It was over almost as fast as it had come. Then, I was fine again. I'm going to go ahead and blame most of it on the pregnancy horomones I suppose.

I thought about Cameron a lot through out the day, and even at my shower. There were so many times I was opening gifts, holding them up, while everyone let out their "Aww's" and "How cute!", that I thought of how Cameron never got that. We never got to have a shower for him. It was just a weird feeling.

But, I had no doubt in my mind that he was smiling over us, happy as can be that his little sister was being shown just as much love as he is!


Never forgetting Gregory said...

I imagine that must have been a difficult day. Those random tears are sometimes the worst. I'm glad you had a great day, but sad you never got to have a shower for Cameron.

Beth said...

I know that feeling at the shower very well. I had a lot of that at my first shower, but my work shower was much easier for some reason. I think the random tears can be good because they help get out any grief that's been building up inside of you...I know it's been healing for me in the past. I'm glad Allie had a great shower...I know Cameron is just as loved though.