Thursday, December 11, 2008

Happy Birthday to me...

Well, things are going well over here.

I've just been trying to keep myself busy, now that Christmas is just around the corner. I know it's coming, I can't stop it, and I'm nervous. I'm nervous as hell. I'm not really sure why though...maybe because I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to act come that day!

I know we'll have tons of family stuff going on, but that's not going to take my mind off of it. Will I cry all day? Will I be OK? Will it be on and off? It's just so uncertain, and that's what I hate.

Heather and I have been talking a lot about our angels lately. It makes things easier, but it just down right sucks that we both have to be going through this!

I am excited about her Christmas gift though! I have decided to purchase a star from the national star registry and name it after Wyatt! She will get a certificate and a map of the star! I will also be doing one for Cameron! I just know she's going to love it!

Today is my birthday, and while it was a good day, it was very hard. I knew there was a possibility that Cameron could have come today...or any day soon for that matter! Plus, it's Thursday. The dreaded Thursday! The day my water broke, the day Cameron passed away, the day we lost the pregnancy last month. But then there's the "OK" aspect of that day. It's my birthday and the day Cameron would have been due.

... I can't believe that day is only 14 days away. I can't believe I'd be 38wks pregnant today.

As far as the pregnancy - everything seems to be going great! I feel great, other than the fact that I'm exhausted 24/7, but I'm not complaining! I just can't wait to have my energy back!

Speaking of...I need to get to bed! I'm so tired, and I've got to be up at 6:00 for work.


Never forgetting Gregory said...

Happy Birthday. I'm wondering how all of us will handle Christmas this year. And with you being due at this time, it must be always on the back of your mind. I hope the day can be busy and happy. Glad the pregnancy is going well.

Mrs. Mother said...

Happy birthday to you. I am nervous about Christmas, too. I don't think anyone will actually understand when I'm very sad that day. Hopefully, I'll know if I'm pregnant by that day or not.