Monday, February 16, 2009

Cherry flavored Carmex

You know how certain smells bring you back to a certain time? The smell of burning leaves brings you back to the Fall time when you were little. Or how the smell of a Summer night can bring you back to those wonderful nights you had with your friends?

Well, for me, at this moment, it's cherry carmex! I smelled it this morning when I unknowingly grabbed the tube. I thought it was just regular. As I put it on, the smell instantly struck me and every part of me when back to last Summer. Back in the hospital room. I remember putting it on religiously while I was there, but when we got home, I didn't want anything to do with it. It reminded me too much.

It's just so strange how this little tube can affect me so much! I have never had something bring me back to something so strongly. I smell it and can literally see myself in that room, looking out the window at the trees, and wondering what was going to happen to my little boy. I can remember the bed, the walls, the bathroom...it's crazy to me.

Sure, when I smell those burning leaves or that Summer night, I can remember other nights like them, but the images aren't nearly as vivid as that hospital room. I closed my eyes, scrunched up my forehead and shook my head - almost as if it was something I didn't want to remember. Of course I want to remember Cameron (and I always will), but those days and weeks in and out of the hospital - not knowing what was going to happen from one day to the next - was pure torture!

...damn Carmex.

3 comments:

JenJen said...

I have always found it strange how a smell can stir up nostalgia~ sometimes good memories and sometimes not so good ones.

I'll second your damn carmax!

Mrs. Mother said...

I can't smell or taste soft serve ice cream without thinking of this summer. It was a little comfort thing I did for myself after we got the diagnosis and after Jenna died. I would go to either McDonalds or Dairy Queen every afternoon. So, I know exactly what you mean. And, the funny thing is, when I first saw this post, I was applying Cherry-flavored Carmex.

Dylan's Mommy said...

This post brought back memories of my own cherry carmex story! I was just 4 weeks pregnant with my sweet angel Dylan. I put on some cherry carmex and the smell made me soo sick. Oh to have the opportunity for it to happen again now...