You know how certain smells bring you back to a certain time? The smell of burning leaves brings you back to the Fall time when you were little. Or how the smell of a Summer night can bring you back to those wonderful nights you had with your friends?
Well, for me, at this moment, it's cherry carmex! I smelled it this morning when I unknowingly grabbed the tube. I thought it was just regular. As I put it on, the smell instantly struck me and every part of me when back to last Summer. Back in the hospital room. I remember putting it on religiously while I was there, but when we got home, I didn't want anything to do with it. It reminded me too much.
It's just so strange how this little tube can affect me so much! I have never had something bring me back to something so strongly. I smell it and can literally see myself in that room, looking out the window at the trees, and wondering what was going to happen to my little boy. I can remember the bed, the walls, the bathroom...it's crazy to me.
Sure, when I smell those burning leaves or that Summer night, I can remember other nights like them, but the images aren't nearly as vivid as that hospital room. I closed my eyes, scrunched up my forehead and shook my head - almost as if it was something I didn't want to remember. Of course I want to remember Cameron (and I always will), but those days and weeks in and out of the hospital - not knowing what was going to happen from one day to the next - was pure torture!