Sunday, February 1, 2009

6 months

It was our 6 month mark yesterday, and I cannot believe it. Seriously, where has the time gone?
There's seems like such a difference between 5 months and 6 months - I think just because it hits that "half year" mark.

We took Aiden to an indoor water park yesterday with some other friends and their kids! It was fun and Aiden had a blast, but I kept staring at all of the little babies that were there. I should have had Cameron there with me - he would be just over a month now. Ugh, I just miss him.

I still have my mini breakdowns on occasion, but it's normal. I know he's in a better place, and I know I'll see him one day, and that makes me feel a bit better. I just can't forget to remind myself of that from time to time.

The dinner we had last weekend went well. It was just sad to see all of those people there. The chaplain got everyone a little ornament/decoration. It's a set of angel wings, with a heart dangling in the middle that says, "ALWAYS In Our Hearts". Of course, the minute he gave ours to us, I broke down crying. I didn't feel so awkward when I looked up and saw other women crying. It was a very nice dinner overall, and the chaplain announced the company was going to make it an annual event. He then said something that struck me! He said, "Hopefully this group won't get any bigger, but unfortunately it probably will...". It's so sad, but he's most likely right.

Other than that, things have been going well around here. I have my 14wk appointment next week. Everything has been going great. This has been a text book pregnancy so far. It makes me feel a smidge better. With Cameron, I had cramping and spotting for awhile. Just minor issues from the very beginning.

I said I was going to just sit back and enjoy this pregnancy, and that's what I'm doing. Obviously thoughts go through my head from time to time, but I don't let them get to me too much. That's a huge reason why I bought the doppler too. I check the little one everyday. Not because I feel like anything is wrong, but just because I like that reassurance.

I would just love for August to be here already. What I'm most afraid of, is having the baby early, and being in the hospital for Cameron's 1yr. I had Aiden 17 days early, Cam's day is only 11 days before my due date. While it would be special for them to share that day, I don't want anything to overshadow him. I could never let that happen, but to others...well, having a living child here...I just feel like they would completely forget about Cameron because he's not, ya know??

We'll see what happens, and cross that bridge if/when it gets here.


Beth said...

I know what you mean... Ada was born on July 16 and I'm due on August 5. If this baby happened to come early and share Ada's birthday, I can see how that would be special, but I really want that day to always be HER day. I'm glad to hear that your pregnancy is going well! I hope we will both be holding our precious healthy babies in August.

Never forgetting Gregory said...

I feel the exact same way. Gregory was born on Sept. 12th and I'm due Sept. 19th. I just want that day to be Gregory's day and I want to make sure everyone remembers him. I'm glad to hear your pregnancy is going well and you are enjoying it. Sorry it has been 6 months since you held your little boy.