The other day, I had gone to see Chev at work for his lunch break as usual. We were all sitting there, and we started talking about the baby. Well, one of his coworkers asked, "So it could be any day now, huh?", to which I replied, "Hopefully!".
Then we started talking about how Aiden was 3wks early and all of that. He said, "Wow...well, with this being your second...". I cut him off and held up 3 fingers - even though he knows ALL TOO WELL that this is our 3rd. So he says, "Well, you know what I mean. Your 3rd that might be born alive.". Um, excuse me! MIGHT?! I looked at him and said, "She's going to be born alive!!", and do you know what he said back to me?????
"You just never know what could happen..."
Who. In. The. Hell. says that to a pregnant woman?! LET ALONE a pregnant woman who just lost her baby boy a year prior?! Why would he have even thrown that in there?!?!?!?!?!?
I couldn't even say anything to him! Another one of the guys that was there looked at him and said something. I just turned my head. I haven't gone in to see Chev for lunch since then, and I don't plan on it unless he's not there, or until I get an apology!
The real kicker is, is that this is the same guy who, along with his wife, lost their baby boy 8yrs ago to pPROM - same way we lost Cameron. Now, one would think that if you've gone through this yourself, you know what to say and what not to say in those circumstances. Like I said though, that should be common sense not to say that shit to a pregnant woman!
So, of course, I left there seeing shades of red. I calmed down, but only to have things going through my head every moment of the day since then. "Why isn't she moving?", "Am I really going to bring her home?", "What if he's right, and it was just a warning to me in some way?".
I know deep down that Allie is coming home with us, but damn! Like I'm not scared enough as it is! Every day that passes that she isn't here, is just another day for something to happen in my eyes. I hadn't used my doppler in God knows how long. Since he made that comment, it's been out 4-5 times a day.
It shouldn't be like that, and I hate that it is! I hate worrying every day.
And this asshole just made it worse for me.
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Cam's name in the Australian sand
Cam's name in North Carolina!
Follow us as we learn to live with the loss of our sweet baby Cameron, who was born sleeping on July 31, 2008.
Cameron David
Born forever sleeping at 19 weeks
July 31, 2008 6:55pm
7.1oz, 8.5"
Born forever sleeping at 19 weeks
July 31, 2008 6:55pm
7.1oz, 8.5"
Our Family Blog
Cam's name in the Australian sand
Cam's name in North Carolina!
"Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me"
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me"
6 comments:
I am so sorry. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. {{HUGS}}
I am so sorry he said that to you. What an insensitive jerk. Big hugs. You will be bringing her home.
What an insensitive a-hole. Especially, since he and his wife have suffered the same type of loss. I would be pissed and paranoid, too...
What a d-head... Try not to think about what that jerk said - Allie is going to be perfect in every way. Hugs
I can't even imagine! WOW. Hugs to you...You are right, you will be bringing sweet little Allie home! And so soon!...:)
Just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you as you approach your one year anniversary of losing Cameron tomorrow. Many hugs and prayers are with you over the next few days....
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