Wednesday, July 22, 2009

It's coming fast!

I feel like July has flown by!! I also feel like I've been trying to ignore that the 31st is coming up. I've been keeping myself as busy as possible, pretending that if I do so, that time will just stand still.

Wouldn't that be lovely.

I don't think we're going to make a HUGE deal out of the day. Just have myself, Chev, Aiden, my parents and his parents out to the memorial site to release some balloons, and to eat the cupcakes that Aiden is going to make. We'll have one with a candle in it for Cameron, that we will blow out as a family. Initially we were going to invite friends and everyone, but the thougth was causing me so much anxiety. I just want it to be special and personal. I know everyone will be thinking of Cameron and us that day, and that's all we really need. It'll be special no matter what!

I'm just getting more and more nervous as the days pass, and Allie's not here yet. I would love for her to come before the 31st, and to have her there at the memorial site. I really don't want to be in the hospital. Even if that does happen, I know we'll find a way to make it special, but I really wanted to do it at the memorial site - the place where we honored him and his little life - not in the hospital.... the place where he passed away.

I've had some mini-breakdowns in the past couple of weeks, but that's to be expected. It's just a mixture of everything that's going on right now.

1 comment:

Mirna said...

Thinking of you! Hugs :)