Today I was feeling a bit better. I was getting that happy feeling back inside of me. The real happy feeling - the one that let's me know that things are going to be OK.
Then, I get home from work at check the mail. Fabulous! There's a thing from Pampers, and on the front, it asks, "Ready for the big day?". I wanted to yell at that piece of paper in my hand, but realized I would look like a nut job had I done so. So, I rolled my eyes and I opened the the envelope. As soon as I tore away the stub, and peered inside, my heart sank. There, right inside, was a tiny, newborn sized diaper. I pulled it out and just stared at it. My stomach turned, and I just breathed a heavy sigh. What am I supposed to do with this little thing? This cute little diaper that would have been for Cameron.
I decided I was going to dub it "Camerons' first diaper" and I put it in his box with all of his other things.
Have I said yet how much I hate this? Yeah? Well, I'm going to say it again, and probably a thousands times more after today.
I HATE THIS.