Well today didn't go nearly as bad as I thought it would. I had some moments where it just hurt so incredibly bad, but really...I just reminded myself of the reason for today. Today is the reason that I will be able to see Cameron again one day, and I cannot let myself forget that. Nor can I let my sadness cloud such a beautiful day.
We made Cam an Easter egg to set next to his stuff, and Aiden picked him a flower from our backyard this morning. I had it draped over his picture.
We then took Aiden over to my grandmother's house for food and an Easter egg hunt. I laughed and smiled as Aiden ran around the yard, collecting his eggs. He was so proud of himself, and honestly, a feeling of immense gratitude came over me. I am so proud to have him and so grateful he's here with us.
As everyone rubbed my belly, I couldn't help but thing that Cameron should have been there with us. Instead of rubbing my belly, we should have been concerning ourselves with bottles and people fussing to hold him. But, I know he was very much with us today, and I know that today was an amazing day to remember Jesus and our little man.
Happy Easter sweet pea!
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Cam's name in the Australian sand
Cam's name in North Carolina!
Follow us as we learn to live with the loss of our sweet baby Cameron, who was born sleeping on July 31, 2008.
Cameron David
Born forever sleeping at 19 weeks
July 31, 2008 6:55pm
7.1oz, 8.5"
Born forever sleeping at 19 weeks
July 31, 2008 6:55pm
7.1oz, 8.5"
Our Family Blog
Cam's name in the Australian sand
Cam's name in North Carolina!
"Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me"
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me"
3 comments:
I'm glad it was more peaceful than you imagined and that you have your little boy to make you smile!
I wrote a similar post the other day about how much more I appreciate Easter and the meaning of Easter as a Christian. I'm even more thankful for His sacrifice than I was before.
I'm glad that you and your family had a nice day~
I hope your daughter never reads this blog. She honestly will feel so unloved. My god woman, you should feel ashamed that you never talk about her the way you should. Yes i understand that you miss your son and that you want him there. But hes not. You can miss him and want him there but please stop letting it affect the way you bond with your new daughter. SHE IS THERE. SHE NEEDS YOUR LOVE. I dont understand the people who comment on here. I think you are all crazy. You should not be praising her behavior. She needs to love her daughter and not constantly dwell on the fact that her son is not there. Poor kid is always going to be in second place. I feel awful for her.
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