Friday, April 17, 2009

The Perfect Family?

I'm so tired of hearing this comment lately!

"Oh, now you'll have the perfect little family!"

"I bet you're thrilled to have a girl! Now you have one of each!"

My mother in law actually said this to me the other week, and I got the most disgusted look on my face. I want my two boys and my girl!! Why can't people understand that?! I feel like my family has been cheated, and that my life was thrown completely off track when we lost Cameron. I always knew I would have two boys - I just never knew that one of them would be watching over us, instead of here in our arms. I just don't get it, and half the time I don't even know what the hell I'm thinking about all of this!
I want to scream at people! My family will never be perfect!!!! My perfect family would be myself, Chev, Aiden, Cameron and Allie. Why can't people understand that??

Yes, I am thrilled to be having Allie! She's my little girl! I love her just as much as I love the boys!! BUT, that doesn't take away the pain of losing Cameron, nor does it fill the empty little spot in my heart. No one gets that.


Never forgetting Gregory said...

Ouch. I can't believe your mother in law said that! You are right, your family is awesome, but without Cameron, it isn't whole and won't be perfect. I hope these are strangers who don't know about your loss saying that. Sorry you have to deal with those comments.

JenJen said...

Yeah, that was pretty insensitive of your mother-in-law~

We will always receive comments that to most people would seem neutral, but to us will cut the deepest wound.

Loving and having Allie doesn't change your love for Cameron or how much you miss him everyday~ unfornately, most people aren't going to get it...

Beth said...

Wow, that does hurt. I'm so sorry. I honestly think people mean well, but when they make comments like this it hurts because it shows that they obviously don't understand the depth of our pain.

Mirna said...

You know people say that because they don't think... they assume that a new baby 'replaces' the other. How far from the truth can that be! Then again only people who haven't experienced the death of a baby/child don't know any better. The fact is that Cameron's place in your life and heart could never be replaced by anyone or anything here on earth. One just learns to live with the Loss.

Julia said...

Gosh, I so understand. Some people just don't get it and I'm sorry that it was your mil in this case. All of our children are part of our family, on earth or not. We lost a son. Two boys, two girls. My big kids are two years apart and the little kids would have been two years apart. Just didn't happen like that and I know exactly what that emptiness feels like. Like someone is missing, you know?

The Dorns said...

What a tough time lately. People can be so rude at times and insensitive with their comments and not know it. As I told you previously. Cameron was here and he was here for a reason. He will always be your son no matter what. Talk about him, cherish him, miss him, Keep his memories alive. You have two sons and a daughter. He is your child waiting in Jesus arms you will get to see him again.