Patiently waiting

It feels like time is standing still all of a sudden! Those first 15wks flew by me, and now...it's just slowly going along.
I'm more than happy with that, because I do like being pregnant, and it gives me more time to really sit back, relax, and enjoy it all.

Although, there's a huge part of me that just wishes Summer would get here so I could hold Allie and know, 100%, that everything is OK, you know? That's the hardest part about losing a baby...it sot of diminishes the "Happy-Go-Lucky" atmosphere of being pregnant the next time around. Not saying I'm a total basket case by any means, but if we hadn't lost Cameron, I wouldn't sit and worry, and I could go about being my care-free self, like I was when I was pregnant with Aiden.

I guess....it just leaves you a bit jaded. I've said from the very beginning that I would enjoy this, not worry, and love every second of it! I've held that promise to myself for the most part, but there are still those moments when I haven't felt her kick in awhile, that thoughts go through my head. I know it's 100%, completely normal, but it still sucks.

Speaking of kicking - she seems to be a lot more calm than the boys were! Aiden was like a little soccer player in there, crazy as can be! And Cameron...LOL, well he liked to roll and flip more than kick and punch. Allie just seems to be enjoying her time in there. She'll kick every now and then, and I pretty much have her sleep times and awake times down, but for the most part, she's just a chill little girl.

I think I've very deserving of a calm, cool and collected child. Because, let's be honest, Aiden is out of his damn mind! Haha! I love it though! I don't know what I would do without the craziness!