Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Encounters of the greatest kind...

Today was a better day!

The morning started out a little funky, but nothing like the days passed.

Chev, myself and Aiden had gone to the store and ran into a family friend. She stopped to offer her condolences as she had been out of town when Cameron's memorial service took place. Chev went about his business with Aiden after saying, "Hi" to her.
She stopped me especially to tell me that she too had lost a son 28yrs ago and she knew what I was going through. I was relieved! She wanted to talk, she wanted to ask questions...it was just what I needed. We stood there, in the middle of the grocery store, for about 20min just talking about our loss. Sharing our babies with one another.

I had no idea she had lost her son, but was so glad she shared with me. It's so nice to talk to someone who really knows and understands what you're going through. I accept any and everyone's hugs and sympathy, but there's something special between two mother's who have lost a child. It's something that no one wants to be a part of, but it's comforting to know that there are others out there who understand your pain.

I've said this time and time again, and I don't mean it to offend, but, when someone comes up to me, looks me straight in the eye and tells me they know exactly what I'm going through, only to find they had a miscarriage at 6wks - well, it's a little disheartening. Expecting to be able to share everything with them, and then I find I can't because...well...they just won't understand.
I look forward to speaking with women who have held their forever sleeping babies in their arms. There's a bond between us...even complete strangers.

I am in no way WHATSOEVER trying to say that a miscarriage isn't painful - God knows it is. Yes, we hurt because we have both lost a child, but the fact is, that those women don't know exactly what I'm going through. They don't know what it's like to hold that precious angel in their arms, and to have to make funeral/memorial arrangements for their child. I'm so glad they don't know what that's like though...I wouldn't wish this to happen to my worst enemy.

So, my encounter today was refreshing in a sense. When she said to me, "Yeah, our little Jason was 2lbs. 3oz." I immediately felt something with her...like we understood eachother without having to say a word. I thanked her for taking the time out of her shopping trip to tell me her story and to let me tell mine.

I walked in that store feeling somewhat numb, but left with a smile on my face. It's amazing what a conversation can do for a broken heart...


Mrs. Mother said...

I know exactly what you mean. I'm not really up to talking to a lot of people yet, which is one reason I didn't really want to go back to work this week, but when someone shares their loss with me, I can talk their head off. They understand.

I wish my granny was still here. She is the only one in our family that lost a baby at the point that I did. I know she would have known exactly what I was going through.

Lily's mommy forever said...

I've had a few people tell me that they know how I feel, just to find out that they had a miscarriage at like 6 weeks...and in my mind I'm like are you kidding me? I know there is pain at any loss of a baby, but I'm with you...at 6 weeks you haven't felt them move inside you, picked out a name, etc. There is no pain like holding your angel, and knowing you will never hear them cry or know the color of their eyes. I never knew I could feel this much pain, and there is a bond with other women that have been through this, because they understand that there are no words to describe this ache and pain at the loss of a child.